Dick & Jayne Get A Life Companion Guide

15 Monologues + Full Play

Download ebook and purchase here! *

 * Currently priced as “Pay What You Can” to help raise funds for Prague Fringe Festival. 

 

The Play:

Two wierdos find solace in one another after an encounter at Ralph’s grocery store in this quirky, sorta romantic sorta comedy.

2W, 4M

The Monologues:

15 monologues from which to choose. Written for men or women.

Here is a sample monologue I wrote based on one of my many experiences as a temp in Los Angeles:

 

ARE WE CLEAR?

 1^ST ASSISTANT’S OFFICE – EARLY MORNING

Sloan, an ambitious yet terrified 1^st assistant to a Beverly Hills power executive, has just learned that the all-important first-day-of-school backpack for the boss’ daughter has arrived and it is the wrong one. The first day of school starts in three hours. Sloan is on the phone, frantically trying to stay chillingly calm.

Character: Sloan

Male OR Female, early 20s or mid- 30s

Hi. Yeah. Hi. Janice? My name is Sloan. Do you remember me? I ordered the petal pink backpack with the big kitty face on the front, not the small one on the left, but the big one on the front that is “Petal Pink” not “Power Pink” and has the zipper pocket on the side for my boss’ daughter’s hot-pink cell phone and sixteen glitter pitter-patter pencils and matching erasers? What I received, most unfortunately is the “Willow White” backpack with the big kitty face on the front with the Velcro cell phone and pencil pocket. Willow White doesn’t match her first-day-of-school outfit. The first day of school is in three hours. This is a major problem. Tell me how we can work together to remedy this situation since clearly someone in your department has made a crucial error. You understand that if I don’t get my boss’ daughter the petal pink backpack with the big kitty face on the front, not the small one on the left, but the big one on the front that is “Petal Pink” not “Power Pink” and has the zipper pocket on the side for the hot-pink cell phone and sixteen glitter pitter-patter pencils and matching erasers, that my life as I know it will cease to exist? I’ve just put a down-payment on my first condo and if I don’t get this backpack within the next two hours and fifty minutes, I will be living in my car again and I don’t think you want that to happen Janice, because I will come and find you and make you a very unhappy person. Are we clear?